We all know that change is inevitable and yet we resist it with all our might, and that costs us a lot of energy and pain. The thing with change is that we know what we give up but we can’t be certain what we will receive in return. We can have a good guess, we can be very intentional in our process but we don’t have any guarantees about the result. If we can make friends with the idea that change is inevitable and that resistance is futile, we can move into a place of allowing, trust and flow.
These steps have helped me shift my perspective:
1. Control. A good place to start is to consider, what we can control and what is out of our control. The weather is out of our control but how we prepare and respond to it is within our control. We can be grumpy about the rain or we can be glad the plants get watered.
2. Gather evidence. Think of those times when you surrendered to change. How much suffering did you hold on to until you stopped resisting and went along a different path? Find as many examples as you can. Big and small, old and new, important and flimsy.
3. Listen. Start tuning into your inner voice. This might take some time because your self-talk and your inner voice are two different entities. Your self-talk is your ego, your inner voice is your soul, your essence, your authentic you. Think of a time where you KNEW you should have done something but you ignored that quiet voice and then regretted it afterwards because it was right.
4. Get out ahead of it! We’ve all been there: we resisted change until change pushed us over the edge. And it was a bumpy and scary ride. If you don’t enjoy that sort of scenario, start recognising what needs to change and get out ahead of it. If you’re not sure of how to go about it, work with a coach to guide you along the way.
Feel free to share in the comments any experience described above. When did change knock you over? Do you fight what you can’t control? When did you exclaim “why didn’t I do this earlier?”
Curious about an anecdote from my life of when I realised what was holding me back when I was procrastinating an assignment? In this video I share a story of when two of the above strategies helped me pass an assessment I had been putting off for far too long.